How you listen might open doors that you never realized existed in the first place. There is a way of going about this that can make such doors open before your eyes. How do you develop the ability to listen attentively by adopting the silent treatment? This article will aim to explain all that.
Paying Attention
Some believe that it is important you keep quiet while the next person is talking. They assert that it shows you are listening or paying attention. There is nothing wrong with this assertion. The person doing the talking might like you to keep quiet and that would signify that you are listening although we know the truth can be far from the reality (it is possible to be quiet without listening). This may be because you are in front of them or in their presence.
If you were on the phone i.e. if the conversation was being held through the phone, there is a chance the person will want to know whether you are still there every now and then as they will want you to make some kind of response. Again, we may be wrong to use one to contradict the other because it is a different medium, you would naturally want to know if the person on the other line is listening to you by asking hello or are you there every now and then.
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So this leaves us where we started, following the assertion that keeping quiet when the other person is talking would mean you are being attentive. However (you just knew this would come), keeping quiet may depend on who is talking, why he or she is talking and what they are talking about.
Who Is Talking
Keeping quiet may signify attention when an authority figure is talking. When we say authority, think of his or her the ability to hire or fire you as well as the ability to send you to the gallows. I can assure you that you will not have an attention deficit problem with such people. They too will not be able to conceive the idea of you not listening even when they ramble on for hours without a single word of response from you. Their position has assured your attention and you will be attentive and be seen to be attentive without uttering a single word.
What if the person is your 5-7 year old nephew that you are still trying to convince yourself “it” was not spawned by the devil himself? There idea of attention and attentiveness might not be you just keeping quiet. In fact, they might define regular interruption as you being attentive.
Why He Or She Is Talking
The reason the dictator is talking can determine what would be translated as you being attentive. Some people may be about to be sent home without pay or anything else and that would require your silence. The why is definitely important when it comes to how you show that you are attentive. Just repeating whatever the person says could mean that you are attentive if the person wants you to get a 16 digit Offshore bank pass code in your head. The why matters.
What He Or She Is Talking About
Going back to the authority figure that has the power to command the air around you to evaporate, why he or she is talking could define whether being silent implies that you are listening. It may be hard to figure anything they would be talking about that might require you to be anything more than being silent but we will be on the side of common sense to say what they are talking about could influence what can be termed as being attentive.
They could be excited over last night’s game and decide to give you a recap even though you watched it. The least that would be expected from you and would show that you are attentive would be some degree of animation on your part.
Attention Is All About Engagement
If silence would show engagement, then it has to be seen as an active involvement. There are times indeed when silence could mean active involvement. However, active involvement in almost all situations that has to do with listening implies a degree of activity on your part. If this was about pretending to be listening, then we would have stopped at just being silent and holding the eyes as it were or doing anything to make you look as if you are paying attention.
However, this is about how to listen attentively in the actual sense. There are people that listen without being attentive. Active involvement is not for the person that is doing the talking but to keep the person that is doing the listening to do so attentively. You might really want to know what the person is talking about because it might be important for you. Being actively involved in what is being said keeps what is said with you.
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